Finished

This morning I doubled yoga classes and completed my 30 day Challenge... all 30 classes, done!
I work well with deadlines. Give me one, and that's exactly when I'll finish, no sooner, but I'll get there.
I think this has been an incredibly valuable month for me. I'm still processing a lot of things, and I'm struggling with even more, but I've learned about myself and what I'm capable of, and that's something I need to hold on to. Because I can actually accomplish things, if I put all my energies and focus into them, and I can feel good about meeting goals, even smallish personal ones.

Snowy Spring

I had the day off, and thanks to my triple play of yoga yesterday, I did not have to leave the house. Which means no real pants or makeup. Which means I look like a freaking homeless person. Oh well. I think my middle school math teacher was the one who told me it takes two to three weeks to make a behavior into a habit, and I always sort of believed it, but never actually managed to make any life changes of my own. I am most decidedly not a morning person. If left to my own devices for days on end, I stay up till 3 AM and sleep till noon-ish. But somehow, today when I had every intention of being in bed till at least 11, I woke up all on my own.... at fucking 9:15. Three weeks of absolutely no days sleeping in, where every day was either work or yoga, and I've managed to destroy my ability to hibernate. But at least the last two days I've gotten somewhat healthy amounts of sleep, so my body seems to be evening out. I changed the ring tone on my phone, so I'm not terrified of oversleeping, and it seems to have worked. I don't recall waking up at 3 AM, or 4:30, or 5:40 (five minutes before the damn alarm for work...grrr). I know I feel stronger, so maybe I'm close to actually feeling like I have more energy, too. I can see the light at the end of the Challenge tunnel, and I've got to say, it's exciting. I've managed to not fall apart too terribly bad. And I think that I'm enough addicted to the good workout feelings that I can scale back and maintain three to four classes weekly without it being too much of a pain in the ass. Here's to progress!!

Post Weekend Thoughts

I'll admit it, those two posts I did over the weekend were completely half-assed. But I posted something! And it's not like I did nothing all weekend... I doubled yoga classes both days, blowing right past the halfway mark. I think I might actually make it! I was thinking a lot about personal motivations as well. At the end of my first Saturday class, right in the middle of shavasana, we got to hear the 'motivation' coming through the wall from the gym next door. The instructor was screaming "GO! PUSH IT! GO! GO! GO!" and other, equally loud but incoherent things in a tone that would have made me give her the hate face and immediately shut down emotionally. Apparently yelling works for some people, but definitely not me. Flash back to my first and only soccer practice: I believe it was fifth grade. Some of the other girls I was friends with had played the year before and won some kind of championship and seemed to really enjoy it. I, on the other hand, had never played. So I show up for the first practice, all excited with my new soccer shorts (they were purple, with white and black beads on the drawstring), ready to have fun with my friends. WRONG. It was conditioning time, which meant adults yelling at kids while they run, and then tossing them balls to block, and if you missed the block you got to run some more. I explained to them that I had never played before, and that no one had yet shown me how to properly block a ball. This is apparently some innate skill I was supposed to have inherited from all the things that do seem to crash into me daily, but sadly, I still missed that damn ball. Whereupon I was told to run sprints. They got my blank face, as I again explained that no one had show me how to perform the skill I was supposed to be demonstrating. Nope, reason didn't work on the crazy adults. I had failed, and I must run as punishment (because running makes you a better blocker...?). So I ran their silly sprints. I ran them all the rest of that afternoon, and then I never came back. Because I am one hell of a stubborn person, and I do not take kindly to raised voices. You want to yell, you better be prepared for me to yell back. Or cry. It really depends on how upset I am. This is why I find yoga so perfect (at least at my studio). It's not about being perfect. It's about being your best you, no matter what version of you shows up that day. You can be tired, sore, limber, bouncy, whatever you are that day, and as long as you're in that room being there for yourself, you have succeeded. I also love that within this challenge time period, I already see myself making progress. And I think my teachers have noticed, too. I'm getting more corrections, but always in a very positive 'you're doing great-now try this, can you feel that now?' kind of way. Which to me means I've progressed out of the 'I'm doing the best I can' phase, and am now in the phase where standing on my head seems like a possibility (years away still, but someday maybe!) I also love the instructor I have on Sunday mornings, because she has amazing taste in music. There is always some gem of a song that I have to ask her about afterward. This was my favorite from yesterday:

Music is always an inspiration, so when you find someone who uses it to make your practice even better you're willing to do crazy things, like wake up for an 8 AM yoga class on a Sunday. Because you might need that song later.

Just push through.

Challenge update: I doubled up on classes again tonight, which puts me back on pace with 13 classes. Yay! However, I can't make it to any Friday classes, so I'll be behind again... meaning another double day on Saturday. I'm starting to feel like a hamster in a damn wheel. Our recycling pickup guy came in to work today, and I was holding a door open with one foot so I wouldn't get locked out while I signed his clipboard. He made some comment on my balance, and I replied that it was all the yoga. When he found out I was doing the 30 day challenge, his eyes bugged out and he said, "Well, how do you feel?" "...Tired....?" It was a good enough line for a laugh, but it's so stinking true. This morning when my alarm went off, I sat up and curled my head into my knees and started to whine. When my husband asked if I was OK I pretty much cried out "I don't wanna get up." So now I'm a tired, whining baby. Who's developing some serious arm and core strength. Yesssss.

Also, Arcade Fire was amazing. Once I finally woke up a bit. And big plus here, my new phone takes effing awesome pictures! I'm excited to keep playing with the functions and in-camera editing, but here's my favorite shot of last night, done two ways.

So much fun to play with!

Productive nothing day.

It was an insanely beautiful day today. And I packed it full of things. 6 AM yoga, work, choir practice. Which really makes it sound like a super productive day, but I feel like I've accomplished nothing. Oooh, I did do the dishes and catch up on Once Upon A Time, too. Those count as real things. But it got me thinking about how we love to complain, especially about the weather, especially here in Pittsburgh. We love whining that Seattle sees more sun than we do. But just because I didn't get to enjoy the weather today doesn't mean it didn't exist. It's freaking 66 degrees right now. Yes, we have a winter weather advisory for tomorrow (which can kiss my ass), but today was lovely, and I'm going to count that as a plus in my book.

Also, tonight was the first rehearsal for our Pops concert, and it's Big Band music!! I'm insanely excited, but I'm not going to be able to sing Puttin' On The Ritz without cracking up. Yeah, about the Frankenstein thing, but also my current favorite...

Putin on a Ritz. I dare you not to laugh. 

And I'm feeling good.

Today I took class 10 of 30. I might actually be able to do this!! Correction: I am doing this, and I'm killing it. Or at least mildly strangling it. Either way, progress! Today I was especially proud of myself for waking up since we lost an hour of sleep last night, and I had a brand new alarm to wake up to.

EXACTLY.

Somehow I think the exhaustion from Daylight Savings has combined with the good energy from all the yoga and just canceled each other out. I feel normal. And that's ok. There was a sub leading class today, and while I prefer the flow of my regular Sunday class, I did like some of the thoughts she threw out at the beginning of practice. It's one of progress, change, and coming to know yourself: Practice yoga once a week, and change your mind. Practice three times a week, and change your body. Practice every day, and change your life. It is a lot of work to rearrange schedules enough to have a daily practice, but it does make it much easier to take the work you do in class 'off the mat'. I am a naturally sarcastic and somewhat cynical person... when you grow up on Seinfeld and Friends that just happens. But I should be more aware when I'm using it as humor, and when I'm actually just being a bitch. Yoga off the mat is a lifelong journey, just as I imagine the road to a headstand will be. I have a very round head.

It's only day 5?!

So, it's becoming obvious to me that I'm still sick. My stomach is not happy with me. All I want to do is sleep. My eyes are all itchy, and I've started my incessant spring sneezing (even though it's only in the 20's outside). But I have a schedule to stick to, and I'm determined not to eff this up. Because if I can't keep my shit together for a measly 30 days then there's really no point to me trying to do anything else with my life. I'll just curl up in a blanket, binge watch some TV and wait to die. Well, maybe nothing that dramatic... but, yeah. Pretty much, that's what I've got.  So I'm going to push myself and go to two classes this evening (because Friday is a definite no-go). Here's an idea of what I'm going to look like:

But not even that graceful. More faceplant drunk looking. And nowhere near as adorable. And then I'm going to come home and do that same faceplant into my pillow. Yup, I'm killing it.