Friday, October 4, 2013

Captain Phillips: Reporting for Nachos

The EW Fall Movie Preview already came out, early Oscar buzz is floating gently in the air, and leaves are turning spectacular shades of scarlet: my favorite time of year is officially here! This is the time of year when I start going into movie nerd mode. I talk about directors and their previous works like an obsessive sophomore film student. I say really pretentious things like “That performance was so powerfully understated.” (No, really. It’s happened.)  I start to plan my own movie double feature days so that I can see as many film festival darlings as possible in the (very) limited time they stay in theaters. In short: I go a little crazy.

Essential reading. And I want that coat. 

Wednesday I kicked off Movie-binge 2013-14 properly with advance screening passes to see Captain Phillips, starring Tom Hanks. Based on a true story, with Hanks in the lead, it practically screams “Hey, Oscar! Look over here!”  I seem to be very busy lately, and while I did think the film looked good based on the trailer, it probably would have fallen through the cracks in my schedule if it hadn’t been for the free passes.  So, thank you universe!

Pirate photobomb!

I’ll be honest, I was only vaguely aware of the real life event that inspired this movie. This is entirely my fault, but I rarely watch the news… it usually either depresses me or makes me so angry at the stupidity and hate in the world that I end up yelling “What the hell is wrong with people?!” over and over to my cats. And they never give any useful insight. So for people like me: SPOILER ALERT.
First cats on my blog... why did this take so long?!

Captain Phillips saves his crew, and some pirates die. The film did do an excellent job of creating tension, and I don’t think I’ve felt this claustrophobic in a theatre since Titanic. (Lesson here: never go on a boat. Ever.) Hanks is fantastic at playing the extraordinary everyman, and he is very good in this part. At this stage in his career though, it is impossible to disassociate him with his iconic roles. This is in no way meant as an insult, and if anything it’s a testament to his ability to make us care so deeply and for so long about his creations. However, this can create some unintentionally funny moments. Shots of a boat alone in a vast empty sea just make you want to scream “WILSON!!”  So you just end up quietly giggling to yourself, and you know it’s completely inappropriate, but that just makes you laugh harder. Or maybe that was just me…. It probably was. I’m disturbed.

My favorite part of the evening had nothing to do with the move. The bestie came with me, and because adults can eat whatever they want for dinner, we decided to get the biggest tub of popcorn ever. And a coke (of course). As we’re walking up the hallway to the theater, we see all these official looking guys in suits standing around a table, and think “Aw, are they giving us free snacks?!” It looked vaguely brown, and low to the table, so we’re thinking … “Is it nachos? Hot dogs? I hope it’s nachos, because yeah, I’d eat that. With the popcorn. Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.”  But as we get up to the table they do a security check and tell us we can’t bring our phones in, but they can hold them for us. In brown paper bags with a number written on them, like a little techie coat check. And in that moment I think we were both really disappointed that there were no nachos.

This is what happens when you Google 'sad nacho'. 

(Or were there? What’s a phone that isn’t yours? Nacho phone! ….. yeah, it’s midnight, and I know that’s a horrible joke. But this is my blog, and I’m going with it.)


  1. They should have given us nachos in place of our phones. People wouldn't get so upset if they got nachos in exchange for their phones....